Question 1: After reading all of Chapter 7, please give an example of a situation in which “T-Funneling” has been or might be helpful in your life, at work, with family, wherever you think it might apply.
I’ll give you an example to illustrate: My son, Cam, and daughter, Katie, had a fight that left him angry and her crying. My goal was to determine what the problem is and how I could guide them toward peaceful interaction for the rest of the day.
I began by asking both the open-ended question: What happened?
After getting each child’s answer I learned generally that Cam kicked Katie out of the playroom.
I then drilled down by asking closed-ended questions of each child: To Cam: Why did you kick her out? Would you prefer to play alone with your friends? Was she doing something to annoy you? Were you angry because she disrupted your game?
To Katie: Why are you crying? Are you frustrated that he kicked you out of the room? Are you sad because you feel like he rejected you? Did you get enough sleep last night?
The answers to these questions helped me understand some of the important logistical, emotional and environmental factors underlying the problem and helped determine how to move forward to solve the conflict: Cam wanted to play PS4 with his friends. Katie wanted to play with him and needed a nap, so she overreacted to his asking her to leave, which made him even more angry. He apologized for hurting her feelings. She apologized for barging in on his time with his friends. (The apologies might not have been sincere, but at least they both felt heard if not genuinely validated). We agreed that he could play with his friends for a set time frame, then they could play together, and each would get more sleep that night. Then there was peace (for a few minutes anyway).
Question 2: Please answer the questions on p. 219 from video clip 7-K.