CASE STUDY
So now I’d like to talk to you a bit about managing conflicts in groups. I think this is a really important topic because there are going to be conflicts. And there are going to be challenges. And things are not going to always go smoothly, nor do we really want them to. I mean, part of the process of growth is there are conflicts. There are challenges– that’s inevitable– and that there’ll be conflicts between people.
So this slide is not just about the fact that there’s conflicts but thinking a little bit about some of the things we want to that are important in terms of managing conflicts that will inevitably emerge in groups. And before I start on to the next slide, I would like to just say that with most of these slides– our own and in social work and in this course– thinking about being aware of our own self-awareness. We’re working with people. How are they managing conflict?
But we need to think about in our own lives. How do I manage conflict? What do I do when I have tension with a friend or with a family member?
Or how do I deal when I’m unhappy about something? Do I suppress my feelings? Am I direct? How do I handle that? Do I have some skills in terms of doing that?
So as we work thinking about how do we help clients process conflict in the group, as a leader, it’s vital that we think about, how am I doing with conflict? Where are my challenges? What comes up for me because that can impact what happens then in the group. So we need to be as clear and as comfortable with these topics as possible so that then we can be strong facilitators.
So let’s talk a little bit more about conflict in group. Conflict in group is inevitable. How we manage the conflict is what is important. We need to appear as non-anxious as possible. And it’s not so much about conflict resolution. But it’s about conflict management. So there’s a lot there.
First of all, I just want to emphasize that conflict in group is inevitable. So you’re not doing anything necessarily wrong if there is conflict. But you need to look at what is going on and where is it stemming from and what are we going to do about it. It’s how we manage the conflict that’s important.
So it’s going to come up. And, as I said earlier, our own style of managing conflict, our own comfort with dealing with comfort will be important here. And we need to take a few deep breaths and stay as non-anxious as we can so we can stay open to the process. And it’s not about resolving the issues or the conflicts. But it’s really about helping the group manage whatever is emerging.
So avoid fostering win-lose situations. So what we really want to do is manage conflict rather than have like a winner and a loser. The idea is to continue having a productive group where members are working together, learning, and growing together and resolving issues together. So we want to avoid fostering win-lose situations between the members. This could be based on competition. And so we don’t want to set it up like there’s a winner and a loser.
It often results in a loss of motivation by the loser of the conflict. So we want people to stay engaged in the group and feel like they’re not an outsider, that they’re an important part of the group. And it’s not, again, about winning and losing. It’s about resolving the conflict as it comes up and dealing with whatever conflict is there.
And it could result in decreased group cohesion. So there can be splitting among members. People don’t like each other as much. Somebody feels left out. So really, it’s not about– we don’t want to set it up like somebody is the winner and somebody is the loser. We want to productively manage conflict and role model how one can manage conflict.
So what if there’s conflict between a couple of people? We want to point out the common ground between them. What do they have in common?
Or partialize the problem– so let’s break down what the problem is. So these are some skills you can use in working with conflict. Let’s better understand where people are coming from.
Often when there’s heated conflict, people are just kind of in their places thinking they’re right. So let’s de-escalate that. Let’s partialize the problem. Let’s see where there’s common ground and also have the main people involved with the argument to understand the other person’s perspective.
So you may have the main protagonists argue each other’s position. And this would be very helpful. Help each other see where is the other person coming from and why are they feeling this way. So that can be a highly effective skill that you could use in groups.
Clarify and interpret the process. Sometimes communication lines become tangled. There may be misinterpretations of verbal and nonverbal cues. So we want to make sure that we’re, again, partializing, better understanding, exploring what’s going on here. Where is this coming from? And you as the group leader can play a very important role in making that happen because people are going to be emotional and not always see the other side. And so you need to be in that role.
The worker can review what led up to the conflict, define the conflict, and partialize the problem. So you, again, play an important role there. And again, your own having a cool head, knowing that conflict is inevitable and you’re working to manage it and just being present and staying calm can be really, really helpful.
The worker can also ask group members for their observations. So again, that goes back to the beginning of a group. If there’s group cohesion, people feel safe, there’s a sense of community, those people can be– the other members of the group could be highly helpful in helping people to resolve the conflict, see where the issues are. And again, one of the things we want to do in groups like this is to have not everything go through the group leader. So the more that we can ask other people– Sarah, how would you handle this? What do you make of this situation?
You know that Mary and Tom have worked really hard together and have made some really good things happen. What do you think is going on here? Can you lend any insight to what’s happening here? Or Joe, what do you think?
Or to ask the two people would you be open to input from other group members. At first, they might not want that so much. But how do you bring in everybody? And this could be an opportunity for the group to get closer and more intimate because as we know in relationships, things don’t always go smoothly.
And it’s often where there’s bumps in the road that people get closer and relationships develop and deepen. So you don’t need to look at it as a bad thing. It could be actually a very good thing.
Provide a model for group members. So deal directly and tactfully with any challenges, and encourage members to express reactions that pertain to here-and-now happenings in the session. So again, you have to think– I have to think– how comfortable am I with conflict? How comfortable am I with dealing directly with conflict? What can I do to become more comfortable with dealing with conflict?
How do I deal with it my own life because I bring that way of being in the world into the group. So we have to keep evolving ourselves. And encourage members to express reactions that pertain to here-and-now happenings. So let people talk about what happened here.
What we don’t want to do is brush everything under the rug, pretend everything’s OK because if we don’t have to– because if there’s really issues that are not OK, they’re going to stay like ghosts in the group and the group is not going to be as effective. So let’s deal with them. And you are role modeling how to do that, which is an extremely beneficial skill for the group members to witness and learn.
Be constructive. So we want to show group members the value of recognizing and dealing fully with conflictual situations. We want to help members to recognize their own patterns of defensiveness and teach members to respect resistance and to work constructively with the many forms it takes. So we want to make sure that group members understand that these issues are inevitable and that they need to be dealt with as fully as needed for this group.
Help people to see their own patterns. Now isn’t that a valuable lesson? So they can see that maybe this doesn’t just happen in this group but that this is something that they’ve done throughout their life. That is very meaningful for people then to see– do I want to continue that? Is it something that’s serving me? Is it something that’s creating problems for me?
And also, that resistance or ambivalence are part of change– so that we want to teach members to respect that process and to work constructively with the many forms it takes. So just that that’s part of the process– not everything is linear and smooth and goes quickly. This is part of the growth process for individuals and for the group.
Maintain a relationship with the entire group. So this is very important. A group must pay attention to the needs– a worker must pay attention to the needs of the whole group. This shows that the conflict goes– this shows that the conflict goes beyond the interaction between the two protagonists. The conflict affects every member of the group. By showing this, the group will be more committed to solving the conflict.
So it’s not just between Mary and Sue that there is a conflict. This conflict is going on in the group. And it’s affecting everybody in the group. So we want to pay attention to what’s happening between Mary and Sue.
But we also really want to open it up to a conversation with the rest of the group. How is this affecting you? What comes up for you? If there’s openness to feedback, what are you seeing that’s happening between Mary and Sue?
Asking the other group members– how can you relate to this challenge? Is this something you’re familiar with? So that can really create a sense of it’s not something that’s just between Mary and Sue. There’s a universality to some of these kinds of conflicts and challenges. And it makes it not so much their issue but something that the whole group can work on together. So there are many, many benefits of that.
But you want to remember that you’re working with a group. You’re not just working with those two people. So you have to think about– how is this impacting the group? And how can this be used as a growth opportunity for everybody in the group.
Responding to anger towards the worker– sometimes the member’s anger and frustration will be directed towards you. The worker should remain calm. Send a message that this is not a catastrophe. The worker should not become defensive, and the worker should not intervene too quickly.
So sometimes that anger might be directed to you because of something that you did. Sometimes it may be directed at you because people are mad about something else. And you’re an easy target. Sometimes it might be directed at you because people are upset about something completely different. You need to sort of try to tease that out. You need to definitely try and tease that out.
But staying calm, not feeling like you need to fix it in the moment, knowing that this will pass, knowing that if you need to explore it, you will explore it, trying not to be defensive and being open, asking for clarifying questions, those are all very good things for you to be doing. And I also want to go back to the self-awareness piece which is like– how do you deal with somebody who is angry with you? What do you do?
Are you a person who shuts down? Could you learn to be a little bit more open to somebody being angry at you? Have you worked through anger issues with a friend or family member?– because those will all serve you in terms of working through some of these challenges that emerge in group work.
Addressing anger– encourage members to explore a resistance. Don’t demand that they give up a particular resistive behavior. So ask people to look at it. I wonder what you make of this.
You ask things in a very open way. I wonder what you make of this. Or has this happened– is it something that you’ve dealt with before? Or is this something you’d like to look at?
State your observations and hunches in a tentative way. This is really, really a good skill to develop. “I wonder if”– I don’t really know. I don’t know you that well, but I’m wondering– I don’t know you that well, however, I’m wondering bah, bah, bah. And see what people say. Often when we’re very confrontational, people then become more restrictive and rigid.
If we’re open like the ways I’m describing, people will be more willing to feel safe and explore for themselves what’s going on. So they’re sharing information with you. And they’re learning about themselves.
And be sensitive to the member, for sure. Recognizing the inevitability– when conflict happens, “the best thing to do is to take several deep breaths, recognize the inevitability of the process, and repeat the mantra, ‘this too shall pass.'” That was a quote from Parry in 1997. But know that this happens in groups. This is part of the process. This is how we move through things.
Again, things don’t just happen in a very simple way. And so the more we’re comfortable with it, the more we make space for conflict, and the more we have some skills to deal with it, the better we will be able to work through it, and the more productive our groups will be.
QUESTION BASED ON CASE STUDY
1. What two to three points stood out as really important to you from this lecture?
2. After reading this case and reflecting on how you personally manage conflict, what challenges do you imagine you might face when conflict emerges in groups you facilitate?
